I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
