Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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