In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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