How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
