Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
