i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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