The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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