I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
