you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
