i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
