these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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