I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Randomize
