i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
