This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
