just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
