what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
