It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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