My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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