TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
