She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
