we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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