U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
