we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
