All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
