You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
