so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
