It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So much Jack, so little girl.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
