I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
