the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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