whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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