Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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