I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
