Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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