You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
