Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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