Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
