Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
