Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
