im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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