Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
