If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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