ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hippo gnu deer
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
