dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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