He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
