It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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