Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
