I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
