oh god the rape fog is back!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
