we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
