You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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